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Agitation, (much) shorter nursing sessions and fear that he could wean anytime - Nursing while pregnant, Nursing two, or more [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Nursing while pregnant, Nursing two, or more

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Agitation, (much) shorter nursing sessions and fear that he could wean anytime [Feb. 24th, 2009|07:59 pm]
Nursing while pregnant, Nursing two, or more

tandemnursing

[flutterflywild]
[mood |blahblah]

Hi all,

I'm 36+ weeks pregnant and still nursing my 18-month-old. I had some mild agitation problems in the first trimester, and it vanished in the 2nd trimester. But for the past couple of months it has returned with a vengeance. It is making me dread nursing DS, and whenever I do nurse him, I can last a maximum of 30secs (I get so agitated I have to count to just get through it!). The description in "Adventures in Tandem Nursing" is exactly how I feel = like the sensation of nails on a chalkboard, and you feel like screaming and running around in tight circles. It's horrible!!!!! I'd rather it be painful! Add to that the fact that he's developed a lazy latch. Just writing all this is making me agitated!

I usually count down and unlatch him. Most of the time he unlatches and grins, other times he gets upset and I latch him on again and count down again, rinse repeat till he's had enough. I try my relaxing exercises, I try to distract myself...but nothing works. I miss nursing him for long sessions, looking into his eyes, playing peekaboo...all those good stuff...but I just can't stand nursing him right now, and it makes me feel soooo guilty :(

I only have a few weeks left. Please tell me that this will end then, and that nursing a toddler and newborn won't include this awful feeling, and that nursing will feel better again.

Oh, and also, nowadays when he's distracted (as in, we're not home all day with just the two of us) he sometimes doesn't nurse the whole day. He no longer nurses to sleep and he is nightweaned, so he asks to nurse pretty randomly. On days where its just us, he asks to nurse quite a bit (or, despite the agitation, I offer to nurse him just to make him sit still for a sec...its very tiring running after a toddler while 36 weeks pregnant). But if we're out and about, or at his grandparent's place, he really just is too distracted to ask. Do you think that if we're apart for too long, he would wean? I am afraid that if something were to happen, and I have to stay at the hospital longer than expected, or he can't come visit, or he can but for some reason I can't nurse him or he's too distracted to nurse, that he'll wean :(

Any advice, commiseration, positive stories, ANYTHING is much appreciated :)
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: goaskyourmother
2009-02-25 10:15 pm (UTC)
I felt the same utter dread for nursing my DD2 too, I would do anything to get out of nursing her, the evening feed was the worst for me so DH would distract her and put her to bed, he had started doing it as soon as we discovered we were expecting again (16 month age gap here) and she didnt' really want to nurse much towards the end anyway and was nursing every other day, the longest gap between feeds was 5 days. Just like yourself I was so torn between weaning her and plodding on with it.

When DS1 was born, DD2 visited me in hospital during the two day stay and I made her nurse (she'd lost interest by this point) so that my milk would come in quicker and it really did, 36 hours after the caesarean in fact! It was brilliant, I didn't suffer from engorgement, leaking breasts or slow supply as I had this toddler building up the supply for the baby and cleaning up the mess afterwards as it were. 4 months on and she's still handing for draining my heavy breasts when DS1 drops a feed in the night!

It was hard work too, she went a little boob crazy for the first three weeks, nursing about 20 times a day, wanting to nurse everytime she saw him nurse and more. I would go off and nurse him in secret just so that I wouldn't have to tandem all the time :) I didn't begrudge her because she had gone for so long without any milk.

I also noticed that she had developed a lazy latch during the period of dryness but she soon relearned how to do it.

Good luck!
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[User Picture]From: flutterflywild
2009-02-26 12:14 pm (UTC)
THANK YOU! I've been feeling like a horrible horrible mother for not wanting to nurse him. It's almost primal, the feeling I get when he asks to nurse. At the same time, I have no desire to wean him because he's really just a baby, y'know?

My desire to tandem nurse has pushed me to just grit my teeth and hold on for a few more weeks, but I am worried that the feeling will stay even after the baby is born. But from what you say, that wasn't the case, right?

I'm sure it'll be sooooo exhausting those first few weeks, between nursing a newborn and nursing a toddler like a newborn...man, I'm gonna be spent :p

And thanks for the reassurance that he'll re-learn how to latch properly. I've been trying to teach him again, but he just thinks its hilarious. Sigh...I'm hoping that the sheer amount of milk when his brother is born, will get him to latch properly again.

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[User Picture]From: goaskyourmother
2009-02-26 05:34 pm (UTC)
I got to the point where I dreaded the baby's arrival because I'd have to breastfeed it and I really didn't want to think about it.

When my milk cane in DD2 went made with nursing so much, she would VOMIT! Silly girl ;-)

I've just come back from an LLL meeting today about tandem nursing, we all said how much it sucked during pregnancy and I said I would never ever do it again.

Good luck!
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